3 weeks...

On Tuesday we’d had JM for 3 weeks and on Saturday will have been back for 3 weeks.
I know we’ve said it before but it seems so much longer!

JM is absolutely thriving (as are we) and loving life in the Campbell clan. We’ve noticed especially in these last few days that he is copying words with a lot more frequency and with more recognisable pronunciation. It’s also become obvious that despite his still limited vocab he really does understand a lot of what’s being said.

It’s been a big week... On Monday we went to the Intercountry Adoption Clinic at the Children’s Hospital for a Paediatric consult and some tests, which is standard for incoming adoptees. It will be good to have a ‘base line’ given JM’s significant medical history (including a small congenital heart condition) and rule out some of the common problems Intercountry kids have when they come from Institutions. We had an Xray, ECG, blood taken, vaccinations etc which JM was just brilliant with, but most encouraging was the Doc saying that despite what he has been through, he is in amazing health which reflects just how well he has been loved and cared for at CRIBS. SO great to hear! We’ll go back in a month to discuss results.

We’ve had lots of walks, park time, painting, reading lots of books, wrestles, lots of snuggles, laughs over hilarious things, and sandpit play - which we assume he hasn’t seen ‘cause he freaked out and wouldn’t go in the sandpit. We’ve done our first visits to people – introducing JM to some new people and new environments, it’s been great having Will around too!

One of those ‘new environments’ was the Intercountry Adoption playgroup in Burwood. This group is made up of kids from India, Philippines, Korea and Ethiopia, ranging in age from 2 to school age these ‘big school kids’ come back during the school holidays because they love the group so much.

It’s a lovely group of families and a great way to normalise difference and the experience of adoption for kids and families alike. Most of the Mums couldn’t believe JM had only been with us for such a short time given his level of contentment and his attachment to us. We are convinced that the care and preparation JM had at CRIBS, spending time everyday with the photos of our family, have had a huge impact on how well he has settled, and we are so grateful to them for that. Of course we’re also convinced this is a huge answer to our prayers and the prayers of many.

Will is loving his life as a big brother. Whenever Will is away for the day (eg school or holiday program) JM is so excited to see him that he races up and gives him multiple hugs and pats him, with which Will smugly smiles in his embarrassed way, chuffed that his little brother thinks that he’s wonderful. Bath time has progressed into a beautiful bonding time for them, lots of laughing, touching, splashing and negotiation. JM continues to follow Will around, copying what he does, which for us is wonderful because we think Will is such a great kid (absolutely no bias here at all).

We’ve dropped JM’s afternoon nap a couple of times this week and that’s meant he’s dropped off a lot more quickly in the evening. We’re reluctant to lose the nap entirely but he had been taking up to an hour and a half each night to nod off. Without the arvo nap it’s more like 15mins!

We’re off to church as a whole family for the first time this Sunday which we’re all looking forward to. We’ve also got some fish arriving for a tank we’ve set up for the boys in the next few days which will be very exciting. We’re about to rug up and get out into the veggie garden to put in some new seeds/ seedlings, let’s see how dirty JM will get. xo

A day at a time...

It’s been a few days since we’ve posted, mainly because we’ve been pretty tired of an evening and even ended up in bed around 9:30pm a couple of nights (very early for us). We’ve now been home and week and a day and it seems so much longer. The days have been filled with playing, pushing anything that moves – but especially things with wheels around the house, fun and laughter, stories, nursery rhymes, wrestling with the boys (JM is a little less intimidated now and is actually launching himself into the action), food, play school, actual school for Will (who went back on Wed), exploring the house and backyard (Will gave JM a guided taste test tour of the veggie patch and herb garden), baths, jumping on the trampoline, visiting the park, checking out the chooks, and meeting more friends and family.

We’ve also altered sleeping arrangements fairly radically (if dismantling our rather large hardwood sleigh bed qualifies as radical). We had started JM in his own room with Will because he went down so easily for his nap during the day. We found pretty quickly however that he was waking late in the night and was distressed we weren’t around (despite Will being in the room with him), the length and intensity of distress increased over a couple of nights to the point it was very distressing for us too. So we made the somewhat difficult decision to bring JM on a mattress on the floor in our room, not knowing how long he would be need to stay and how Will would react. Another problem with that is that in our little room it didn’t physically work with our big wooden bed, so the boys got busy and took the bed apart. We’re now on our mattress on the floor next to JM on his mattress on the floor.

This had an immediately positive effect on JM and despite the fact he woke multiple times in the night to check we were still there (and wouldn’t go back to sleep unless he was physically on you, or you were next to him on his mattress), the distress had gone. Will thinks it’s a little bit unfair that JM gets to sleep with us (no room for him too!) but with typical graciousness has accepted that he can still come in to us during the night and sleep with us too if he wakes. All of this had been pretty exhausting physically (and emotionally), particularly for Liss who JM wants to go to in the night, but God has graciously sustained us, and in another way we are rejoicing that JM is wanting Liss in this way - another positive sign of ‘attachment’ happening. It’s also been great having Matt around so much, not just as another pair of hands, but to be on duty so Liss can catch up on a little sleep in the mornings and act as Liss’s personal Masseur! Last night he only woke a couple of times and Liss was able to comfort him with her voice and a reassuring hand. It’s getting better a day at a time.

As parents we are walking around with a grin from ear to ear... full of pride at our amazing sons who like us are embracing an amazing journey of learning and discovery together. xo

One week today...

It is a week today since JM literally entered our lives, and it’s been the most wonderful blur ever since! He is becoming more and more a part of the family. This morning he was carrying around a photo album we had sent over to him at CRIBS with photos of our immediate family. We discovered on our arrival at CRIBS that they had shown him that album every day for the last 5 months. This might explain why he was so comfortable seeing us for the first time. Today as we looked at the album together he walked around the house saying the names of the people we had looked at together. Soooo beautiful, it’s also pretty amazing to hear him saying mummy and daddy so much more frequently. As we reflect on the last week (finding it hard to believe it had only been a week) bath time tonight stood out... When we first picked JM up CRIBS had told us he had a bath every night, so at the end of the first day we dutifully plonked him in the bath with Will. He sat there like a stunned mullet and wouldn’t let go of our hand. This happened for the next couple of nights... when we went to ICAB on the Thursday to pick up JM’s papers, the Social Worker said, “of course you know when they said bath they meant ‘bathe’, on a stool with a bucket...”. Well we do now! That explains the completely freaked out look on his face when we sat him in water! In our last post we said when JM heard the water running for the bath he started to strip off, well tonight I just said the word bath and headed for the bathroom and he already had his trackies and nappy off! Whilst he was sitting in the bath with Will splashing away, having just sung the “Barney” theme song... ‘I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won’t you say you love me too?’ he spontaneously stood up and gave Liss a kiss on the lips. Oh my gosh, amazing. He also said ‘love you daddy’ after dinner tonight, seriously brilliant.

Other things too... like instead of just saying a very enthusiastic ‘amen’ at the end of grace now, he actually looks at all of us when we sit at the table, and hold out his hand so we can all hold hands together.

We’ve been encouraging him not to wear shoes inside the house (esp. with all the rain/mud we’ve had), so have been saying ‘shoes off’ every time we enter the house as we take or shoes off... first few days he totally cracked it (I don’t know if we mentioned it but he has a serious thing for shoes, and it’s even worse when you head for the door and think you’re going somewhere, it’s like the look puppies get you when you bring out a leash for a walk), anyway this afternoon when we get in, he pipes up and says ‘shoes off’. He is truly amazing and soooo sooo beautiful.

Speaking of amazing, Will has been equally impressive. Nothing JM has thrown at him has been too much, he has been patient, gracious, and still wants to help out and be ‘on duty’ each night. He’s back at school tomorrow and we asked if he’d like to be bed in his big bed to get a really good sleep for the big day, and he just said ‘no thanks, remember I’m on duty for this week?’ xo

Meet the Family...

JM slept through until 4:30am which was pretty sensational for his first night in his new surrounds. He quickly went back to sleep and the next thing we knew Will and JM came into our room together at 7:30am and jumped into bed for Fathers Day cuddles... Great way to start the day!

We had a picnic morning tea and then afternoon tea at our local park today to introduce JM to very close family and 4 friends we see a lot. It wasn’t too threatening for JM because there was lots of space to run around and lots of things to have fun on. Despite the gloomy weather we all had a wonderful time. JM even had some kisses to give away at the end!

Totally loving the swing

 

It might sound silly but it’s hard to believe he’s only been with us 5 days and only two of those back in Melbourne... the only real give away is leaving the house without nappies and wipes and a change of clothes, which is going to take a little while to get used too. While we’re certain there are times JM is really overwhelmed (and there’ll be lots more times like that to come) he seems to be settling so well, he’s picking up some of ours words (like ‘Amen’ after grace- and the whole way through dinner), is getting to know the routine (as soon as he heard the bath run tonight he started to strip off), and is becoming increasingly comfortable around us, while at the same time being conscious of where we all are in the house – which is a good sign with regard to attachment. xo

We're back!

So so glad to be home... its 9:09pm and we've both been awake for most of the last 40 hours (except for a kip this arvo). Yesterday was one of those days that just 'happens' to you... We knew it wasn't going to be pretty and it wasn't. Spent the morning packing, checked out at 12pm but had 4.5 hours to kill before we headed for the airport. You guessed it, we hit the mall. Trying to get JM to sleep on Matt's back proved painful. JM hadn't been in a carry harness thing before and the first 10mins was histerical screaming. The sort of screaming that made you feel all the Filipino people around were wondering what these stupid 'white people' were doing with this poor little Filipino kid! He eventually settled and eventually fell asleep for an hour, instead of his usual three. All the while Liss lugged around a huge day pack with our valuables and supplies for everyone. If you thought we were over the mall before, these four hours took it to a whole new level!

The trip to the airport was dreary and wet, but still super humid. We were grateful the forecast Typhoon didn't eventuate. The airport was a lot crazier flying out, I think we went through 4 or 5 security/ xray points (shoes off at each one & being felt up etc - Matt didn't mind the feeling up so much :-). Killed a couple more hours here before boarding. JM discovered a new love, which entertained him (and the rest of the airport) for the hours, pushing our extremly well laden luggage trolley all over the airport. Plane took off just after 8:30pm by which time we were all already exhausted. Praise the Lord that JM and Will both had no problems taking off/ travelling, but with no real room to stretch out (except all over us) had really restless sleeps. This unfortunately meant Liss and I had none. About 2am JM who could not get comfy 'chucked a complete nana', which after 15-20mins (Liss and Matt desperately trying to calm him and not wake the entire 247 passangers) lead to a massive coughing fit which wore him out so much he fell back asleep! Will eneded up sleeping on the floor at a feet. 6:30am (4:30am Philippine time) couldn't come quickly enough... we landed! Mercifully quick through immigration and customs and into the excited arms of some immediate family. Off home in our own car (love the long term car park), and without the anticipated dramas putting JM into a child restraint- he's never been restarined in a car seat, stroller, or apparently on anyones back!

Melbourne was crisp, clean and sunny on our arrival, what's there not to love?! Spent the moning exploring the house with JM (and his own room/things) and unpacking. Some friends had filled our fridge/ cupboards with good things to eat, what a blessing & what a yumnmy breakfast... JM definately loves croissants! 

Surviving the plane trip

Sound asleep in the afternoon (with those half open eyes)

All crashed after lunch (the boys had to be woken after three hours by Liss) but felt much better for it. More unpacking, hanging out with the chooks in the backyard (which he loved and sang to from a distance in Melissa's arms), and a walk up to the local shops filled the afternoon.

Dinner together, boys in bath togther, boys did teeth togther, story together, prayers together, now sound alseep together (Will on the floor in JM's room - because he wanted to 'look after him' tonight).
We're thinking we should do the same! Will post some pics tomorrow - brains not working wll enough to get pics off camera. Did we mention it was good to be home? xo

Will on 'big brother' duty (admittedly asleep on the job!)

Update #3 from the Philippines

Wed 2nd and Thu 3rd Sep:

Sleeping, eating, shopping, having fun in the pool and the hotel room, getting to know JM, watching him devour adult size portions of food that takes his fancy, talking about Barney the Dinosaur, sessions at ‘Time Zone’ with Will... this has been the last two days. Liss slept most of Tue night on the floor next to JM, and Matt did the Wed night shift... despite not a brilliant nights sleep because of a persistent cough JM has (not made any better with A/C constantly going), I think we’ll fight for JM duty tonight because the floor’s a whole lot more comfy than our hotel bed! Will announced Wed morning with tears in his eyes that the Philippines wasn’t the place for him. Despite the appeal of a new brother, Time Zone, and 2 cool Toy shops, the heat/humidity has knocked him around, the novelty of the hotel and pool is wearing off, and he just wants to be home with his food, his stuff, and his family/friends. The reality is we’re in a spot in Pasig (metro Manila) with not much else to do except sleep, swim, or shop, and I have to say we’re all kinda there with him... pretty over it, we just want to get our newest little fella home and into a normal routine.

'The Boys'... drawing in the hotel room

Thu morning we jumped in a Taxi (old hands now) and met Elaine at ICAB in Quezon City (25mins away). Elaine handed over JM’s passport and immigration docs, along with some gifts for JM; a book on The Philippines, a toy Jeepney, and a Philippines flag. We chatted about JM’s last few days, met some of the workers and were done within 40mins. We can now technically leave the country, which we’re scheduled to do tomorrow evening at 8pm.

Us at ICAB today (Thu) - In the background is a 'welcome' sign)

So what’s the newest little Campbell like... Well he LOVES Barney the Dinosaur (stupid purple American man-in-a-suit with accompanying TV series/DVDs with super cheesy scripts and bad songs, and naturally a merchandise line). He loves shoes- changing them frequently (something that runs in the family; at least it did with Matt and Will when they were little). He loves food and the pool. He also loves having a big brother, wanting to copy him and follow him everywhere. He has started to say Will and calls him Kuya (which is big brother in Tagalog). JM is VERY busy! He has energy to burn, ready to run, explore and scream with joy. He only seems to get upset when he doesn’t get his own way, (which is not untypical behaviour for a 2 year old). He is super cute, he has a wicked laugh. When he’s nodding off to sleep he has to be touching you in some way, even if it’s his leg over you, just to make sure you’re not going anywhere. He really is like a very big baby in lots of ways (more like a one year old developmentally), which we were told to expect with any institutionalised child.


Very snuggly!

Oh and did we mention he’s still in nappies? Something to tackle over Summer holidays! He loves singing, and the repertoire so far includes ABC, The Barney Song, Twinkle Twinkle, Ring a Ring a Rosie, and Old McDonald, finishing each chorus of everything with a big scream, cheeky face and shake of the head. We noticed later Thu that he is saying Hi Daddy and Hi Mummy as he waves to us, which is soooooooooooooo beautiful.We’re packing tonight (Thu), busy tomorrow before flying out in the evening, so don’t imagine we’ll get to post an update till Sat/Sunday. We’ll keep adding a few photos to the facebook photo album, so keep an eye out. The next adventure is actually getting home! Will was in tears the day after we arrived, saying he never wanted to get back on a plane (I guess having been so sick) - even if it meant he had to live in the Philippines, then of course there’s little fella #2 ... a very determined, energetic and potentially overwehlemed 2 year old! If you’re the praying kind... we’d really appreciate it. xo

Sat 29th Aug:
Spent most of the day recovering from yesterday... Lots of swimming, a little shopping, a movie with Tim & Alex (Pixar’s ‘UP’) and finishing the day over dinner with Jan, Malcolm, Tim & Alex, who leave tomorrow. The boys had another great day together forming strong friendships that will undoubtedly grow back home.

Fun in the pool

Sun 30th Aug:
We seemed to miss all the church services, but were amazed at how prevalent they were in shopping centres. Robinsons Mall (our local mall) alone had 3 churches based in shop fronts, and RC Masses occurring in alcoves around the centre. We had some early pool time and then said goodbye to Jan, Malcolm, Tim and Alex. We jumped in our first Manila Taxi (feeling very brave) and headed to the massive Greenhills Mall & Hawker Market about 5mins away. Filipinos love their Malls... they are everywhere and they are massive! We picked up some clothes and a few souvenirs, whilst constantly hounded by dodgy guys trying to flog dodgy DVDs (which are technically illegal, but the Philippines is rumoured to have the largest pirate movie industry in the world). You are constantly greeted by stall holders and shop assistants who say ‘hello maam’, ‘hello sirrrr’ in asian American accents. The ratio of Sales Assistants to customers is overwhelming, 2:1! In the Hawkers market we noticed after every sale that the stall keepers would rub the new money they received over all the unsold goods, apparently for luck. We noticed in a couple of sales ledgers headings like ‘God bless our sales’. A mix of faith and superstition... We couldn’t avoid walking through a huge Mass in progress in the centre of the mall which was packed with shoppers. We loved the tags that said ‘original replicas’. Came home for a swim, dinner and bed.

Under cover Hawkers Market at Greenhills... 'Hello Maam, you buy bag?!!'

Mon 31st Aug:
‘National Heroes Day’ – Public Holiday. After breaky we were in the mall for opening at 10am to grab some cash and heard throughout the complex the opening prayer, asking for God’s blessing on the day and their sales, help for the shopkeepers to be thankful for their jobs and be given the strength to serve their customers well etc... Very cool.
We headed for Intramuros this morning, the old walled city from the time of Spanish rule (1500’s), and site of Gen Macarthur’s HQ during WWII. Another successful Manila Taxi ride... 150php for a 30min ride worked out about $3aud. It’s a real tourist mecca but well worth a look for the incredible history. We were greeted by Albert as we got out of the cab who promptly ‘propositioned’ us and become our tour guide for the following 2hours, in a pony drawn buggy. It was a really hot day (90% humidity) but the breeze caused by the movement made it a little more bearable. We visited the amazing Manila Cathedral were former President Cory Aquino’s funeral was held only weeks before. Albert took us ‘backstage’ and we visited a small chapel/ mausoleum which held the tombs of previous Filipino Cardinal’s including one aptly named ‘Cardinal Sin’! The history of the place (Intramuros and the Philippines in general) really is incredible and sad, Earthquakes/Typhoons, Spanish and English colonisations, invasion by the Japanese and occupancy by the United States over many years, and horribly corrupt leaders. The walls of the city are full of bullet and grenade holes. Albert took great pleasure in showing us where things ‘used to be’... his commentary was insightful and hilarious. We picked up some souvenirs and were dropped off at Rizal Park, which was full of people (in the shade) due to the public holiday. Another successful Air Conditioned Taxi ride back to the hotel. There’s no real ‘middle class’ here from our initial and probably crude observations... there’s the extremely poor, the poor, the working class, and the extremely wealthy. Watching life happen in the Philippines, you certainly become conscious of how good we have it in Australia.


Manila Cathedral


One of the many ruined but still beautiful churches dating from the 16th century


Will and Albert at one of the outside chapels

One of the villas courtyards (1500's)

The end of the line... being dropped off at Rizal Park

Tue 1st Sep:
If yesterday was ‘national heroes day’ I guess today was ‘JM day’. None of us slept well, Liss was ready for the day before the boys were even up. We all felt queezy in the tummy and full of emotion (excitement and nervousness). We met the ICAB Social Worker in the lobby and jumped in a Hotel car at 9:45am for the 30+ min trip to CRIBS Foundation (Childrens Home/ orphanage were JM lives) in Marikina City. We were told to pack clothes etc because some orphanages ask for the kids clothes back before you left, we had everything except shoes. We met all the ‘significant’ workers associated with JM’s care who went through JM’s past history and documents and we got to ask lots of questions. We were thrilled to receive a ‘life story book’ of the past 2.5 years with baby pictures (incl one with his birth father which is brilliant), a lock of his hair, and even a squashed first birthday candle. We received a copy of JM’s daily routine, Filipino words etc. The carers were very affectionate and clearly adored him, after about an hour of talking suddenly the door opened and there was our new little fella, carrying his pictures of us which he has looked at every morning for the last 5 months. He was so excited and recognised us immediately. He jumped straight into Liss’s arms and began jabbering away. He has the cutest little language (think high pitched ‘ewok’ from Star Wars), most of it completely nonsensical according to the carers. He lit up even more when Will gave him a little ‘Barney the Dinosaur’ toy. He’s mad about Barney! We played together for a while and then had a tour of CRIBS, checking out our son’s home for the last 2+ years. It was small and run down and hot, but they are doing great work, also running a shelter and school for girls rescued from sexual abuse from ages 7-17. The workers we met were all amazing, and we are thankful that JM was surrounded by so much love. JM was really taken with Will, following him around and touching him constantly. We eventually left, no tears from JM, no grizzles, no nothing... he was asleep on Liss within 10mins of us leaving, and he even came with shoes! Liss said she couldn’t have been more content at that moment. On the way back in the taxi Will expressed his relief that JM was so great, didn’t look as old as he thought, was actually really cute, and he wasn’t nervous at all anymore. Neither were we! It felt a little like a dream. We were so conscious of the thoughts and prayers of so many and of God’s hand on us at the time. We got back to the hotel in time for lunch, some quick shopping for formula, sandals, and a little cup and bowl set (which we found in the ‘Barney’ aisle of the kids section). Lots of fun and laughter in the pool as a family, and under the poolside shower after. JM thought the power to turn water on and off that fell from the sky was hilarious. We know where to take him if we hit a rough patch in the next few days! Back to change for dinner. JM had an adult serve of Spaghetti which he literally inhaled and then bath and bed time. It’s now 9:50pm and he’s been soundly asleep since 6:45pm without a grizzle. Liss lay down with him until he dozed off (about 15-20mins) and he looks like a little angel. We’re sitting on the couch writing and can’t wipe the smiles off our faces as we think about the day and look over the photos...we’re pretty whacked from the emotion of the day so am off to bed. xo

First family shot of the 'Campbell 4'

Check out lots more photos from today on this public facebook album (just copy and paste the link)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=143037&id=632594049&l=22582fb9f9